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Altered dreams

Altered art by Vera Lucia Emerim. Altered books, card holders,albums, ATC, collage and other mixed media artworks.

Location: Araranguá, Brazil

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Altering Death

This blog should be called Altering Death. I have pancreatic cancer, I started chemotherapy two weeks ago and I was already taken to the hospital with an opportunist infection this week-end.

To make art is rare a luxury these. I try to make some things in the moments when I feel strong enough. Unfortunately since the diagnosis in January, it has been more and more difficult to have time to paint, to decoupage or make my dear Altered books.

If somebody is reading this blog out there, please understand that I am terrified. Not with death, because it is as a friend said about it, “it will be as coming back home", the "dwelling of the spirit", where all the matrices of the art will be waiting for me. What terrifies me is the path that I will have to tread here on earth until arriving there. Pain, much pain, so much pain that I didn’t know that I could support. Suffering, sadness; to see other sick people in different stages of the illness; the hours in hospitals for a long list of illnesses associated with cancer , hours in the clinic for chemotherapy, nausea, weakness.

I pray to the God to give me courage to face my ordeal until the end and pray to God to give my family and friends the necessary courage, strength and love to support me. And I ask you who are reading this blog, whichever your religious beliefs are, please pray for me.

Until next post.


Blogger Lori Roberts said...

Vera you are in my prayers. I am so sadden to hear of this cross you have to bear. I pray that the pain eases so you may continue on with your work. I have always enjoyed viewing your books. They come to life with the love that you put into them. May peace be with you my friend.

7:35 AM  
Anonymous Robin said...

Hi Vera, I'm one of those "out there" reading your blog (I am a member of CollageCats) and I just wanted to respond so you would know someone is out here thinking of you! I feel so sorry that you have to endure this road in life. I don't blame you for feeling terrified, but I am sure that God will give you the strength you need, the people in your life to support you and all the love your heart can hold to get you through this. I will think of you and pray for you every day that you will be able to find something good out of every day and that your fears will subside.

Sending you love and blessings and good health,
Robin (a fellow artist)

9:15 AM  
Blogger Merrikate said...

Hello, Dear Vera, Lady of the Cats! So sorry to hear of the tough challenges you are facing this spring, and of your natural fears as you face treatment. Many of us will be praying hard for you.

I believe that God will very soon bestow the strength of spirit you are seeking. He'll lift all your anxieties away so that you can proceed with calm acceptance and faith. You will be surprised by the level of trust that will fill you. And inner peace does so much to ease pain and promote healing!

After all, as a woman of heart and an artist of talent with such a love for Bastet's kittens all over our earth, you have resources within your soul that you have only begun to know!

with loving support,


9:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you as you go through this difficult and painful time. I hope the lord does not make you suffer too much.
You have a beautiful blog with gorgeous work and images on it so hopefully it will help you get through your time of need and will be therapeutic for you.
Big gentle hugs to you

10:31 AM  
Blogger Belinda Manning said...

I am so sad to hear of your illness. Of course I will keep you in my prayers. I cannot imagine what you are experiencing, and pray that you will be given the strength to find your path. Some time ago a stumbled upon the web site of Randy Pausch, a professor who also has pancreatic cancer. I want to encourage you to visit his site. It might be a source of inspiration and hope. Peace to you, dear one. You are not alone.

I belive this is Randy Pausch's site. If not you can just google his name.

11:37 AM  
Blogger Peggy Louise said...

My dear friend so far away. I pray that this saying is true...that what God brings you to....He will see you through.
Know in your heart as you endure your time in the hospital that your hands are being held by all of us!! Know it. Feel it. I do this when I have to go thru a painful or troubling time...that my late husband of a year ago, is with me as he usuallly was, holding my hand!
And it helps. So concentrate and put your mind on us...sitting there with you...holding your hand.

4:29 PM  
Anonymous CatsPaw said...

Dear Vera ... I came here after seeing your note on CollageCats tonight. You will be in my thoughts and prayers with the request that the pain will not be more than you can bear. You are right: the destination is not to be feared but the road can be very hard. I hope your family, friends and kitties will be a comfort to you. Visit us when you can.

With love.
Tina CatsPaw =^..^=

9:08 PM  
Blogger jackie said...

I am sending prayers for you - I am deeply saddened by the pain you are experiencing - I understand your fear and pray for strength for you during this difficult time.

Your spring book is just lovely - I admire your art!


8:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was saddened to learn of your bout with cancer. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer.
May God strengthen you, your family and your friends.
I hope that you will feel well enough to be creative as I find that takes my mind off some of my troubles. Your work is beautiful!

Cheryl S.

9:09 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

I'm sure you're going through such a dificult time right now - the treatment of cancer is so often a painful , long road. Remember that God doesn't burden us with more than we can carry - He's with you now , and so are your family and friends which is such a gift , and one that not everyone has. Try to remember your blessings and find peace through them , and I'm sure it will make your road at least a little easier to walk. And know that you have all of our hearts as well.

7:45 AM  
Blogger May Terry said...

Vera, I understand your fear. Chemo is so tough. Just make sure your doctors do everything possible for the pain, nausea, and fatigue.

I've been hospitalized twice for infections during chemo. It's not pleasant but hopefully you will get through it. Take good care of yourself--it's your time now.

With prayers and love,

11:04 AM  
Anonymous Brenda said...

Vera, I just want to let you know that my heart goes out to you, and you are in my prayers. I am from WWAO. Saw your post there and came to check out your blog. You seem like such a lovely lady. May no weapon formed against you prosper.

6:40 AM  

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